All my friends have children, I am childless, I want my friends back.... am I being childish?

Author: No Kids On The Block Date Posted:8 May 2014

I used to have friends, now they have kids.... where does that leave me? Am I destined for friendship oblivion? Do I need to develop an app like Tinder to find real friends again?

There it is, I've said it, I'm now open to public scrutiny, I have no children and I'm lonely!

I wasn't the person that went through school and university making friends at every turn. I didn't hang out with the cool crowd - in fact I didn't even really hang out in crowds. I considered my limited social(ly acceptable) skills were better suited to quality relationships rather than quantity.

Back in the day it was easy to phone a friend (usually on a home phone, there was limited mobile & SMS back then) any time of the day or night to find a jogging / golfing / gym / pub / gig / travel / camping / [insert activity here] buddy. You would arrange to meet somewhere, you both showed up pretty much on time all the time and you got on with having fun. I had friends that I always went skiing with, I had other friends that I always ate out with, I had friends that would always be up for a kayak & camping trip and I had A friend that would always be up for watching a game of rugby, either Sydney Uni club games or the test on the TV at the pub.

From time to time, we would all invariably have partners come along, we'd go on and on about looking forward to meeting someone when we were single; we would go on and on about moving on when we were part of a couple. The partners would come and go but our real friends were never far away if and when we wanted them. Bit by bit though, some partners started staying around longer and longer. More than bystanders or furniture, they became part of the fabric of a new, conjoined life; I quite honestly didn't see it coming.

New events started popping into our daily lives. I think they started with housewarming parties as 'co-habitation' crept in, then there were 'formal' dinner parties at 'couple houses' and before I knew it - engagement parties.

BANG! It hit me, the door had been flung open, the cheery couple were out the front gate and were down the aisle faster than a Block makeover, complete with gold bands and mortgages! I almost want to blame the banks, with a commitment to the hungry beasts my friends just nested and we all know where that leads. BANG! There it was again, the birthing suite doors swing open and a screaming bundle of squidgy flesh, button nosed and cotton fisted comes flying out to take my place.

Don't get me wrong, they are beautiful (the kids) and very inclusive (the parents) but how do I get a look in when I want some company? I try ringing first thing in the morning or on my way home from work without success - occassionaly I get a text back saying it's the witching hour and 'the sh#t has literally hit the fan'. I suggest a quick beer or 12 on Saturday afternoon to be told there is soccer / ballet / martial arts / school camp sleep out / sickness / birthday party / play date / family visiting / spouse already out / baby sitter sick / Peppa Pig on TV / iPad is broken, Disney no longer available on DVD and the world may as well have ended! Months ahead of time I suggest a long weekend skiing to learn that the nanny can't ski (she wasn't invited BTW) and the kids are too young, fragile and precious for the MILO ski school, maybe next year? I've even tried buying extra tickets to great gigs like Dan Sultan, Tina Arena, Cut Copy, JT - even James Blunt! Alas to no avail, I end up going with a virtual stranger while they go off and buy Wiggles tickets. Aaaaaargh, I want my friends back!

Tell me dear reader, compatriot, new friend or anonymous cherished old (not yet ex) copain, how do we keep our friendship alive?